Frustrating Night

As I sit here rocking my writhing baby who is pulling my hair, scratching my face, and screaming at me, it once again occurs to me that I need to breathe. 
Breathe in, breathe out. Okay, that’s a little better. I am always on a time crunch these days. We have to get out the door, I need you to get to bed at a decent hour, we have to get home… On and on. 
So I take another breath. In and out. And I remember that if I can just calm down and stop being so stressed out, they will too. If I stop fighting them at every pass, maybe they won’t push back so often. If I say yes more and no less, they will need to challenge my authority less. And stop yelling. 
So I take another deep breath and she falls asleep. I look at her face as she snuggles into my arms and kneads her blanket with her hands and my decision is made. I’m not in a rush. We can slow down, take breaths and stop yelling. 
And we can just enjoy each other. They can be kids. For as long as childhood lasts.

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