My little pockets of shame

You guys, don’t judge me. This is a major source of shame for me right now. I have been just barely hanging in there. I am so stressed out and run ragged that I just cannot do everything or pretend to anymore. Have you seen that graphic with the three points that says that of being sane, having a clean house, or having happy kids you can only have two? Find it here. Well, I’ve made my decision: happy kids and sanity won. Everything else is falling by the wayside.

My car for example:

Exhibit A. I not only live and eat in my car, but I store the garbage in the driver’s side door.

This disgusting mess causes me so much anxiety! I just cannot seem to remember to bring a bag out to my car to collect it and throw it away. When I pick up or drop off the kids at daycare, I am always afraid that another parent that I like will notice that half-full cup of diet coke and realize that I am a crazy person. It’s just not acceptable.

Then there’s the laundry situation.


Even Lilly looks annoyed at the full basket of clean laundry behind her

I can’t make myself wash the dirty stuff and I can’t make myself fold the clean stuff. There are piles everywhere. We just make new piles when the old piles get too big. I can’t. 

The girls’ room. I don’t even pick up their toys anymore. Their room is upstairs. They only sleep in it. Lilly is in a “throw every book in the floor” phase. I’m over it. 

Finally… the bathroom. It’s just vile. There are way too many of us pooping in a single toilet. Too many people’s dirt going into one sad tub. Too many girls dropping hair all over the floor. If I deep-cleaned the bathroom weekly I think it would look and smell as bad as it does for as often as we clean it. I wipe out the sink and scrub the toilet almost daily. I can’t do it anymore.

Two more years until I can hire a cleaning lady. Until then, my kids will be happy and I will be sane. Our house, on the other hand…

3 thoughts on “My little pockets of shame

  1. Megan says:

    This really hits home for me. The state of cleanliness of the various rooms of my house, or at least my perception of their cleanliness, is a major source of stress and extreme frustration for me. Our townhouse has 2.5 bathrooms, for God’s sake! Good for resale, maybe, but that’s three goddamned toilets I have to try to keep clean and two showers/bathtubs. God knows the last time my bedroom was dusted. Last weekend I managed to go over my kitchen floor with a measly wet Swiffer and I felt like a goddamned Olympic champion. I don’t keep trash in my car but the interior hasn’t been cleaned in easily a year.

    The only thing I keep up with is the wash, but that’s just the actual washing if the clothing, and not the tower of ironing looming in a wrinkly tower on the shelf above my washer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • newestmcdermott says:

      On top of everything else Lillian is afraid of the swiffer and vacuum so you can probably imagine how our floors usually look. I try to go home for lunch twice a week to speed clean them. Totally embarrassing.


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