You guys, don’t judge me. This is a major source of shame for me right now. I have been just barely hanging in there. I am so stressed out and run ragged that I just cannot do everything or pretend to anymore. Have you seen that graphic with the three points that says that of being sane, having a clean house, or having happy kids you can only have two? Find it here. Well, I’ve made my decision: happy kids and sanity won. Everything else is falling by the wayside.
My car for example:
This disgusting mess causes me so much anxiety! I just cannot seem to remember to bring a bag out to my car to collect it and throw it away. When I pick up or drop off the kids at daycare, I am always afraid that another parent that I like will notice that half-full cup of diet coke and realize that I am a crazy person. It’s just not acceptable.
Then there’s the laundry situation.
I can’t make myself wash the dirty stuff and I can’t make myself fold the clean stuff. There are piles everywhere. We just make new piles when the old piles get too big. I can’t.
The girls’ room. I don’t even pick up their toys anymore. Their room is upstairs. They only sleep in it. Lilly is in a “throw every book in the floor” phase. I’m over it.
Finally… the bathroom. It’s just vile. There are way too many of us pooping in a single toilet. Too many people’s dirt going into one sad tub. Too many girls dropping hair all over the floor. If I deep-cleaned the bathroom weekly I think it would look and smell as bad as it does for as often as we clean it. I wipe out the sink and scrub the toilet almost daily. I can’t do it anymore.
Two more years until I can hire a cleaning lady. Until then, my kids will be happy and I will be sane. Our house, on the other hand…
3 thoughts on “My little pockets of shame”
This really hits home for me. The state of cleanliness of the various rooms of my house, or at least my perception of their cleanliness, is a major source of stress and extreme frustration for me. Our townhouse has 2.5 bathrooms, for God’s sake! Good for resale, maybe, but that’s three goddamned toilets I have to try to keep clean and two showers/bathtubs. God knows the last time my bedroom was dusted. Last weekend I managed to go over my kitchen floor with a measly wet Swiffer and I felt like a goddamned Olympic champion. I don’t keep trash in my car but the interior hasn’t been cleaned in easily a year.
The only thing I keep up with is the wash, but that’s just the actual washing if the clothing, and not the tower of ironing looming in a wrinkly tower on the shelf above my washer.
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On top of everything else Lillian is afraid of the swiffer and vacuum so you can probably imagine how our floors usually look. I try to go home for lunch twice a week to speed clean them. Totally embarrassing.