I love to get away. I do not love to travel. I panic when I have to be away from the comforts of home and under the scrutiny of government officials. Airports are my worst nightmare. But I did it. I survived my first work-related excursion on my own. Just barely. Here’s a brief rundown of my first day…

At the airport, departure:

This I actually did with minimal embarrassment. I did notice the high number of non-English speaking Indian passengers who seemed to be one enormous family, oblivious to the rest of us passengers. I couldn’t get to my assigned place to stand (Southwest love) without throwing a few elbows because my “excuse me” pleas were going unheard/un-interpreted, but it wasn’t bad. I kept my shit together. That’s what matters in these situations. 

On the plane:

“Dear God, please don’t let the pilot crash the plane just to shut that kid up,” was the mantra of me and my fellow unrelated-to-the-kid passengers. The other Indian passengers didn’t understand the flight attendants’ constant begging to PLEASE EFFING REMAIN SEATED WHILE THE DAMN SEATBELT LIGHT IS ON. 10 minutes into the flight and they were getting nasty. It was ugly. And the kid was loud. She left her seat at least 40 times in 3 hours. The flight attendants made several announcements to please stop pressing the call buttons unless it was an emergency. Ding! Ding! Ding! Yep, I’ll have a glass of wine, please. She never came back around for my credit card. Free booze! Whee!

At the airport, arrival:

Hallelujah, I survived! Off the plane and around to claim my luggage. Once received, I headed out to find a taxi. Again, I am so oblivious. I walk up to a cab and wave. Instead of being helpful, he repeatedly points off in a direction behind me until another driver pulls up and tells me, “you need a ticket from the guy in the yellow shirt.” Thank you for some information, finally!!! So, I finally get my cab, awkwardly hand off the ticket and my bag and get inside. 

Awkwardly riding in a cab:

We all know I am an introvert, lost in my own head most of the time. I was just quietly watching out the window thinking about how weird Florida is compared to NY. The driver kept asking me if I was okay. I felt the need to keep telling him my inner dialogue. Surely, I could’ve just said, “I don’t feel like talking and I don’t know you,” but I hate to make it weird. Haha we arrive at the hotel and I pay. I get out and make my way inside. 

Checking in:

Something finally went okay! I walked up to the counter, handed over my ID and was handed my keys. Success! I dropped my stuff off at my room (after getting lost a few times but this place is a castle) and called the family so I could go down for dinner. 

Super-expensive froufrou Italian place:

After the day I had, all I really wanted was a glass of wine. I told the waiter and he brought me three wines to sample. Of course the one I liked was $40 a GLASS so I settled for the $10 one. And a pizza. I read and slowly ate the whole damn thing. I’d survived adulthood on my own!